Have You Ever?

Sept. 2010

Have you ever rented an apartment or house sight unseen in a foreign country? Well, I did! Was I thrilled or disappointed??? I’m not sure yet.

I arrived in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico a tourist city that I know quite well. I had rented this apartment after searching Craigslist and seeing how expensive rent had become since my last visit. It looked lovely and had a small pool right out of my front door. The price was right, and the location was okay. It was the swimming pool that sold me on it. I called the realtor, made my deposit and arrived.

I was met by the owner and realtor who told me there was a small problem with my apartment. However, not to worry they would give me a nicer, bigger apartment for the same price. It seems that the apartment that I had rented had a small problem. It now had water running down the walls, yes, running down the walls. Their small problem, is a huge problem. This had been going on for a month, and they rented it anyway. What were they thinking? The entire city has a huge problem with excess rain, and now mold. The elegant apartment they gave me also has a small problem, mold.

Yesterday I was one unhappy woman, today things are brighter. I purchased several cans of Lysol spray, and it at least smells better. When will they have my apartment ready for me???? Oh, maybe in November or December. I have to laugh because otherwise I’d cry. Oh, one other small detail, it is located on a hill that you have to be a mountain goat to climb. I guess I will get in good shape and hope the goats like me. Truthfully, there are goats, tame goats, a block below me.

My lesson of the years is: never rent or buy anything sight unseen.

More Madera beach's nasty waves
April 2010

Back to Madera beach. The waves were still huge and only the local surfers were out. So I just sat back and enjoyed their show. As I was watching the young Rasta boys from the restaurant next to where I was sitting, they all got their boards and headed into the waves. I noticed that one of them had a little boy of about three years old with him. I was a little surprised, but I thought he knew what he was doing. Then the first wave hit him, and the little boy was gone. I jumped up and started yelling for help. The people around didn't seem too concerned. I yelled to a friend that a little boy had gone under and still no-one responded. My daughter and I were up and running, and finally we had the attention of some of the waiters from the next restaurant, and they finally jumped in and someone grabbed the little boy.
The more I thought about it the madder I got at his father. When the mother arrived, she gave her husband a mouth-full of trouble, which made me feel better.
I'll never understand why he took his son out in such a big surf, But he did. I'm sure he'll never do it again, or he'll have the wrath of his wife on him.
I was just glad to see this little boy walking around eating a taco, later.

Ass-kicking waves in Mexico
April-2010

On Madera beach in Zihuatanejo is where I spent most days. The beach is small with a lot of local kids playing football or surfing. In April the waves got bigger and bigger. My grand kids had come to visit and seemed to enjoy the beach and the waves. Later in the afternoon I had had enough of playing the good grandmother and told their mom, "I was going out to catch a few waves. It had calmed down and the waves weren't huge by any means. As I walked into the water my four year old granddaughter went whizzing by on her inner-tube. I looked back to make sure she was safely on shore. That's when a huge wave hit me, breaking over my turned head. It knocked me around but I recovered in time to see another one coming. I dove under and as I came back up, there was another one coming at me. So again and again I dove down. This happened for four of these break-ass waves, and I was hoping that was the end! If not I, was sure it would have been the end for me. I caught my breath and staggered to shore. There stood my daughters with big smiles on their faces and telling me what a beach-bum I had become. I guess they didn't notice my white face and the spit and snot coming from my nose and mouth. I was just glad to be able to walk ashore.
Back on the beach several friends were telling me what a great job I had done with those huge waves. I told them all, "Thanks for coming to save my life, I was damn near drowned, and you're all sitting here thinking it's cool."
I packed up my gear and went home to recover. It took me several trips back to the beach before I venture into the water again, and even then I was a little more cautious than normal for me.

In 2009-2010 I returned to Zihuatanejo. Because I thought it was a great place to sit and write a book. My plan was to refine my book and enjoy the ocean. So I caught a flight in September and sat back for a peaceful return to my favorite city.

And Then The Universe Kicked My Butt

Have you ever thought you were so cool and worldly that you could just catch a flight and land in some foreign country without a thought to what might go wrong? Being in this frame of mind I returned to Mexico to the little village of Zihuatanejo. With my know- it- all attitude and self assurance, I caught the local bus from the airport instead of paying through the teeth for a taxi. Very smartly I returned to the nice, reasonable priced, clean hotel that I remembered from previous trips. Everything was going just as smoothly as I had planned. Why shouldn’t it? I’d done this trip before, and the Universe just smiled, and I’d go on my smart-ass way.
The next morning I set out to see about renting my old apartment, hoping it was available. My ex-landlady Ada, and I had a big hug and chatted about what had been happening in Zihua while I’d been gone. Then I asked about renting one of her apartments. I and was a little disappointed when she didn’t have one available. Sweet Ada smiled and said, “But my sister has a lovely apartment for rent.” Come on, we’ve all heard that one before. There is always a relative that has what you need. “Ok, I’ll go look but I can’t pay more than $300-$350 a month.” Ada’s sister agreed to the price and off we went to see her three-bedroom, three- bath, for $350USD a month. Yes, I am doubtful but it will be fun to see it. To my amazement it was wonderful, really wonderful. What did I need with three bedrooms, or three bathrooms when it’s just me? Who cares? I wanted it. This place was better than I could ever imagine? So without looking any further I took it, and asked her to sign a contract so she couldn’t change her mind. This was way too good to be true! The prices for apartments in the central area are usually that much for a studio or one bedroom. Still in the mind frame of: Oh, it is all just so easy when you know what you are doing. I moved in that same day.
My kitchen is the cutest kitchen in all of Mexico. I am sitting at the table drinking coffee and doing some writing when I look up and there is a very big person standing in the middle of my kitchen. I ‘m not sure if it is a man or a woman, but which ever it is big. I am so startled I’m not sure what to do, so I yell at this person, “What are you doing? What do you want? Go, go! Get out of here”. Then this person mumbled, “I go bathroom.” “No, you go away.” Then I jumped-up and locked my door.
Several days later I was talking to Fatty, my landlady, and she told me that her daughter liked to use my bathroom, and might come upstairs to use it, at times. “No! That is not possible. You must tell her she can’t do that any longer, because I live there now.”
Oh, yes then there is the rooster that roosts in the tree directly outside my bedroom window that crows not at day-break, but at 3:30—4:00—4:30 in the morning, every morning. He seems to crow for about 30 minutes and then rests for 30 minutes to resume his crowing. Just when you are falling asleep, there he goes again, until dawn. My favorite song now is They’ve Come to Kill the Rooster, and I wish someone would. I bought a sling-shot in hopes of persuading him to give up his roost. The first one was plastic and it immediately broke. Then I bought another wood one, and I now have big bruises on my wrist from trying to hit even the tree. The rooster remains in the tree, at this point in time.
My apartment is on the second floor of a nice little house, with beautiful plants encircling it. Sitting in my kitchen you feel like you're in the jungle, as you’re surrounded by huge trees and vines, with flowers everywhere, and birds flying in and out of the big mango tree. It’s sort of like living in a tree-house.
The kitchen is an open-kitchen, with ornate metal work, but no true walls or windows. The metal has designs of stars, octopus, sea-shells, and a couple of cute fish. It’s very airy and open, and it's just darling, which I loved until last tonight. As I was turning off the kitchen lights, the bats arrived. They buzzed through and I’d be lying if I told you there were more than one, but it seemed like dozens. I have no idea because I covered my head and ran into the bedroom, not returning until this morning. Now I plan to leave the lights on and just hope they stay away. God, how I hate bats!
The other thing about my lovely airy, open kitchen with it’s ornate metal designs is: when it rains. Well, when it rains, it floods not only my kitchen, but my bedroom is lower, so it floods there also. With the slightest breeze, the rain drowns my kitchen. I had sort of wonder what it would be like when it rained. Now I know! I’m happy to say it’s the end of the rainy season, or I would be spending my time mopping, instead of writing.
Now there is a new addition to my discomfort; someone practicing the trumpet. He has to be a beginner because it is horrid, and he plays it at 10:30 at night and 6:30 every morning. I’m thinking of offering him an outrageous amount of money for his trumpet or buying him a guitar. I’m not sure which is worse the rooster or the trumpet.
The worst thing about my lovely apartment is rather hard to describe, without sounding like a real bitch, but it’s the most difficult to live with. The people next door have a mentally handicapped young woman, and she screams, and screams, and screams. However, the other noise she makes for long periods of time, sounds like a person having a sexual experience. You may laugh; but this goes on two or three times a day, and it is loud, really loud. Oh, yes, and then there is a baby that cries half the day. In the past, I thought the loud music played in Mexico was annoying, ha, now they can play it as loud as they like, and I’ll never complain. Sometimes it would be a blessing, just to deaden the noises from next-door.
Moral of my story: “When it sounds too good, it probably is!” But I think the truth is: it was just a small message from the Universe kicking my butt and telling me to not be such a smart-ass, and that I still have many lessons to learn.
Through all this craziness, I still laugh and think it's quite fun living in my airy, open kitchen, with roosters crowing and people screaming. It's another adventure that I wouldn't trade for anything.