My Tamale Adventure

Yesterday, I was invited to the home of a Mexican friend where we spent the day preparing tamales for her family and friends. I was excited to help, as I love to cook, and I think I'm a pretty good cook--that was until I tried to hog-tie a tamale.
She gave me a recipe for the base of the tamale, and I was sure I could whip this up like a pro. It was simply a matter of adding some chicken broth, lard, and spices to the Masa Harina (corn flour) I saw her watching me, and soon she was taking over my job, explaining how to add this and when to add that. She then sent me over to the meat, and told me to shred it, and then add the chili sauce to it.
Now a couple of her sisters had joined the assemble line. One sorted out the corn husks, and smeared the masa on it. Next, one of them added the meat mixture, and passed it to the folder, and she tied it into a perfect little package. After twenty or thirty were assembled, Mama placed them in the steamer. It is believed that only one person can add them to the steamer, or they will not cook properly.
I took my turn at each step, except the steamer. They all agreed I did okay at smearing the masa on the corn husk, not as quickly as they would have, but they were patient with me. Adding the meat mixture was no big problem. But, let me tell you my little packages weren't very pretty. When I folded them, they sort of squirted the meat and masa out, and it ran over the corn husk. Maybe, after twenty or so, with their help, they were looking a little better. I could tell Mama wasn't happy with my help, but the sisters got a good afternoon laugh at the gringa's tamales.
Walking back to my home, I could see people looking at me strangely. When I looked in the mirror, I understood why. It looked like I had murdered someone or something. I had red sauce, everywhere on my body and my clothes were covered with caked on masa, plus meat sauce. A shower was definitely called for.
Today I get to return for the big payoff. Those pretty packages, and some not so pretty, will be our lunch.

WHY I LOVE MEXICO

For those of you who don't know me, I'm a single women, FYI,, not that young. In fact I have grandchildren.

In my new and not too shabby apartment we have a crew of workmen doing some cement work. They have been here for the past two week. In these two week, I have gained two boy-friends.

The one is a twenty-year-old, cuter than you can believe. He stops several times a day to say Hola. Then today he told me I had the most beautiful eyes in the world! Please take off your glasses. Holy shit- then he got right down and looked me in the eye.....and all I can say is I know my heart was pounding and my face was beet-red. But, man, did I love it! Like I said he is ever so cute.

But, then his co-worker has started to stop on my landing when he goes by ten times a day and sings to me. This one isn't so young or so cute. Well, he is cute that he sings to me, but look wise I'll have to say...He is short, fat, and doesn't have many teeth, but he sings me the most romantic song.

But to be honest I'm in love with both of them. Who wouldn't be?

The best part is that I also have a maintenance man,,boy,, who is the funnest, best flirt-er in the world and he is here daily to tell me he loves me and asks when we will-------?

Now you know my secret, for returning to Mexico.

A month after writing --Have You Ever--rented a place sight unseen. I am still in the apartment with a beautiful view and my studio apartment is still undergoing repairs.
Yesterday the owner told me I should be able to move into it today. It was still a mess, with painters, cleaning ladies and the owner trying to make the swamp look nice.
The fridge is a nasty looking thing with splotches of rust. I asked the owner if she would like it in her house. Oh, no, we are moving that to a different apartment. That's nice move it away but don't get rid of it.
I then told her the cleaning ladies didn't have to make the bed because I wanted to spray it with Lysol before I moved in. That's when I almost threw-up. When I lifted back the sheets there was one of those rotting, moldy, foam pads with so much nasty hair and other things. I dropped it and told her there was no way in hell I would ever sleep on that. Oh, we were going to replace all of that.
Then the cushions for the dinning room chairs all had holes in them. I stuck my finger in one hole and it was so rotten it shredded. Oh, we are getting new covers and pads for the chairs.
Well, today, the day I am to move--no one has arrived and it's not going to happen.
I can't wait to see what it looks like on moving day.
The manager of the apartments told me to get mean and if I didn't like something, tell them I wanted my deposit back. This had worked for the last renter and she ended up with a lovely apartment.
I wonder how mean I can get?
By the way this building is only one year old. It has amazing art work on every wall. Gorgeous Mexican ceramics here and there. I believe I am suppose to just look at the pretties and not see the other nasty stuff.
I guess I'll just have to go to the beach and enjoy my wonderful life, as it is today.

Many Marriage Proposals

This is my horoscope for the day-----One of the best things you have to offer the world is your sparkling wit. Bring it out in full force today and have some fun with other witty people. Flirting can be fun whether you have plans of following through or not---if you're with someone who understands there is nothing behind it. Flirt away and have some good clean fun. You may learn some new techniques that will come in handy later.

About an hour after reading this----the maintenance man for my apartment arrived. We always joke and do some big time flirting. Today he was a little more serious and after a few minutes of some chit-chat, he asked me if I would please think about marrying him.
He explained, he would sign a legal paper saying he would never take any money or any of my possessions. I just had to marry him, not even sleep with him, if I didn't want to! Then he could go back to the U.S. legally.
He had been there legally in the past, but after he returned to Mexico the U.S. had cracked-down on immigrations. He had in the past even crossed into Texas via the Rio Grande. Now it would cost him about five thousand dollars, just to get in the line for illegal crossing.
I then told him my story of having no passport and a ticket to Mexico----several years ago while staying at my daughters house in the U.S. her home was robbed. My passport was stolen! I had an airline ticket but no passport. Being funny I told my daughter I thought I'd fly to California, take a bus to the Mexican border and swim the Rio Grande. I was sure I would be the first person swimming into Mexico, not out of Mexico. She thought it was a fantastic idea. I would need to have someone film it. She was sure I'd become famous and probably rich from all the talk-shows. I still think it would be a wonderfully, crazy thing. My biggest problem is I'm not sure but I think I might drown.
My flirting companion, loved the story. We flirted a bit more and then he told me he was just joking, because his wife would kill him before we could ever be married.
I have had several of these proposition's for marriage, and so far never lost my head and agreed to any of them. But, many a woman has, and then found themselves in a long, expensive divorce.

Have You Ever?

Sept. 2010

Have you ever rented an apartment or house sight unseen in a foreign country? Well, I did! Was I thrilled or disappointed??? I’m not sure yet.

I arrived in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico a tourist city that I know quite well. I had rented this apartment after searching Craigslist and seeing how expensive rent had become since my last visit. It looked lovely and had a small pool right out of my front door. The price was right, and the location was okay. It was the swimming pool that sold me on it. I called the realtor, made my deposit and arrived.

I was met by the owner and realtor who told me there was a small problem with my apartment. However, not to worry they would give me a nicer, bigger apartment for the same price. It seems that the apartment that I had rented had a small problem. It now had water running down the walls, yes, running down the walls. Their small problem, is a huge problem. This had been going on for a month, and they rented it anyway. What were they thinking? The entire city has a huge problem with excess rain, and now mold. The elegant apartment they gave me also has a small problem, mold.

Yesterday I was one unhappy woman, today things are brighter. I purchased several cans of Lysol spray, and it at least smells better. When will they have my apartment ready for me???? Oh, maybe in November or December. I have to laugh because otherwise I’d cry. Oh, one other small detail, it is located on a hill that you have to be a mountain goat to climb. I guess I will get in good shape and hope the goats like me. Truthfully, there are goats, tame goats, a block below me.

My lesson of the years is: never rent or buy anything sight unseen.